I feel like time has been flying by. I was in Haiti over a month ago, Christmas and New Years have already come and gone. J-Term is over and the Spring Semester has already gone. While all this has been happening, I keep thinking, "What have I been doing with my life, and why do I feel like I should be doing more?"
Now, the typical answer for college kids is probably, "I've been stressed." or "I don't get enough sleep", and I am no excuse. If I could count how many times I say the word stress or tired in a day, I would need more fingers and toes. But that excuse is obviously not a very good one, simply because it is my own fault. I am the one who chooses to socialize and browse Facebook for hours on end, putting off all the reading and homework that should be a priority. I am the one who is forced to stay up late sometimes because I don't get it all done. And I'm not saying I don't enjoy all the things that I procrastinate with either. I absolutely love being with my boyfriend, friends, and checking my Facebook and Pinterest, but I still feel like there is more to be done.
Spring semester started this week, and I still have a decent amount of free time. Instead of doing my homework while everyone else is in class, I usually make a list of everything I need to get done for the day and then sit on my computer or sleep. It's also a weird feeling to think that I'm staying busy, but I am still bored. I was having a conversation with someone a few days ago, and they challenged me to ask God's spirit to fill me up. At the time, I thought that was way out of my comfort zone. I have a decent relationship with God...I know it needs improvement...but literally asking him to be inside of me and guiding me every day was something I had never really, truly, thought of. That night, I picked up my new Bible for the first time, dug out my devotional book that I haven't read in a few months, and my journal, and spent some time with Him. That night and the next morning I felt SO refreshed.
New Year's Resolutions are obviously very popular around the world...I didn't make one this year because in the past I make one, then by January 2nd, I forget all about it until the next year. So I'm making a Post-New Year Resolution. And that is to spend more time, one on one, with God. I remember very well saying on New Year's 2011 that I would read my Bible more. That is similar to my resolution this year, but I want a more personal relationship with my Heavenly Father. I don't just want to pray before I have a test I know I should have studied for, or pray whenever I think about it. I want to have a specific time each night before bed that I can just spend with God, no matter how tired I am.
Proverbs 16:1-4 says: "We can make our own plans, but the LORD gives the right answer. People may be pure in their own eyes, but the LORD examines their motives. Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed. The LORD has made everything for his own purposes, even the wicked for a day of disaster"
I started this on Monday, and so far it's been kind of a fail. However, once I get more organized, I WILL be going through with this resolution :) I know saying "once I get more organized" is exactly what I was saying not to do above, but I'm still human. I still make mistakes. I need to get my priorities straight and my time managed better. And I think improving my relationship with God will help me with that in it's own way.
God doesn't just want us to talk to Him during the rainy times of our life. He truly wants to be there for us in the good times as well! Don't be afraid to trust Him...He knows the plans for your life anyway :)
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